** My Freddie Mercury **
This blog is dedicated to Freddie,
the greatest rock legend and the best musician of all time.
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I was cursed by Freddie’s fortune:
Queen star’s lover got his millions, was cruelly attacked by jealous rivals
and even abandoned by Mercury’s own band mates
by David Wigg
Mail Online March 30, 2013
Things were getting very complicated
and the atmosphere between us was changing a lot.
I knew the writing was on the wall, but what writing? I wasn’t absolutely sure.
‘I never questioned Freddie about it.
But I think he must have been starting to question himself.
Getting married was probably something Freddie wanted.
But then he began to wonder if it would be fair on me.’
The revelation that Freddie was gay ended their physical relationship,
but Mary has always been grateful that Freddie one day had the courage
to discuss his changing sexual feelings.
‘If he hadn’t been such a decent human being and told me I wouldn’t be here,’
she says candidly.
‘If Freddie had gone along living a bisexual life without telling me,
I would have contracted Aids and died.’
Mary started to notice he was staying out later and later and thought
Freddie was having an affair with another woman.
Deeply hurt, Mary feared their relationship was over.
But one day Freddie told Mary he had something important to say
– something that would change their relationship forever.
Gazing down at her lap, Mary says softly:
‘I’ll never forget that moment.
Being a bit naive, it had taken me a while to realise the truth.
Afterwards Freddie felt good about having finally told me he was bisexual.
Although I do remember saying to him at the time,
“No Freddie, I don’t think you are bisexual. I think you are gay.”
’ Freddie, Mary recalls, hugged her and told her that, whatever happened,
he wanted her to always be part of his life.
For a spell they settled into a routine, though unconventional life.
When they threw dinner parties Mary would sit on one side of Freddie,
his latest boyfriend on the other.
Eventually, Mary decided to move out of their flat,
and Freddie’s music company bought her a £300,000 apartment.
Mary becomes reflective.
‘The sad thing was that if Freddie had been more careful in his lifestyle later on,
he would still be here now.
With advances in modern medicine things are different now.
’As it was, Mary could only watch from the sidelines as her former lover
embraced a wild chapter of his life.
‘I think Freddie reached a stage where he thought he was invincible,’ she says.
‘He convinced himself he was having a good time and maybe, in part, he was.
But I think in part he wasn’t. ‘And then it was too late.
The only person who could have made a difference was Freddie.
But I think he’d stopped being honest with himself..
Many of Freddie’s so-called friends were there for the free tickets,
the free booze, the free drugs, the free meal, the gossip and,
of course, the expensive gifts.
’Freddie kept the nature of his illness a secret until shortly before his death.
When Freddie told Mary he intended to leave his beautiful home to her,
Mary tried to encourage him to place it in a trust.
‘Freddie said, “If things had been different, you would have been my wife
and this would have been yours anyway.
”’Mary had two sons; Richard, who Freddie knew, and Jamie,
born shortly after his death. Her relationship with their father didn’t last.
In time, Mary met another man – who she married.
But the marriage faltered after five years and they divorced a decade ago.
It has always been Freddie who was the true love of her life.
Mary’s memories are never far away. ‘Freddie was fun.
The only times I saw him really serious were when working on songs.
The house would be totally still, but full of a quiet energy.
‘But Freddie’s personality was always there, whatever the mood.
It was always moving, influencing the running of the house.
It was like the volume button on the radio.
There are not a lot of people who can walk into a room and there’s something
they bring into it which makes it warm and genial.
And then, when they leave, it goes,
’ The true Freddie, she believes, was a complicated mixture
of self-doubt and self-confidence.
‘I think Bohemian Rhapsody was the turning point.
That made him realise that he didn’t need to doubt himself.
Even though he was told the radio stations wouldn’t
play it because it was too long, there was no way Freddie was going to cut it
.’As fans continue to flock to house where their idol lived,
Mary understands their desire to know his final resting place.
But she is aware she made a lasting promise to him.
**I never betrayed Freddie in his lifetime,’ she says.
‘And I’ll never betray him now.**
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